By Deborah

My name is Deborah. I’m 51, the daughter of Jean and Gene (no longer married to each other). Allow me to put some context around these dialogues. I love my mother, though at times I dislike her behavior and her choices. In all fairness I’m certain she could say the same of me.

It seems that she and I have been actively at war with episodes of peace since I was old enough to have opinions of my own. My 3 brothers claim I am “just like my mother”, and in some ways I suppose I am. Growing up I despised that moniker because in my mind I was nothing like my mother and at that time she was not a person I admired, nor aspired to be like. Now that I am an adult (by virtue of my age, not necessarily my behavior), I accept the ways in which I am like her and embrace the ways I am not.

My friends will tell you I am nothing if not honest and ruthlessly blunt. In my life that has worked both for and against me. Regardless, it’s not something I can or am willing to change. So off we go.

At the moment I don’t have any “issues” with my mom. I suspect she has a few with me! I love her and accept the way she is, though I may not like it. I’m sure this may seem cold and perhaps unfeeling, but if she were to die today, I would greatly miss her and certainly there would be a definite hole in my life. However, on my side do not feel there are any outstanding hurts that need to be healed. For her I think it is a different story and so I am willing to have the conversations.

Ok, Mom – it’s your serve, what’s up first on your agenda?